Love and Loss

Dear Alden,  I awoke this morning to the sound of thunder. It's crazy, here thunder hits one right after the other. It was almost constant for quite some time. I hadn't heard anything like that before.  After waking up and getting dressed for the day, Suzy and I went to her shop in town. She had some things to set up and had to pay her rent there. Also, her housekeeper was there cleaning and she likes to not be home when that's going on. Once we were done at her shop we went to a home goods store. I realized I should be saving some money and looking at the local Marshalls for stuff for Morton. We grabbed some food - doughnuts for me and pizza for her - before heading back to her place.  After eating we went to the aquarium. That was fun. I got to pet a shark, a horseshoe crab and a sting ray. Plus we watched a sea turtle swimming and a lot of big fish. I enjoyed it.  When we were done looking at the fish we took a walk and looked at a local artist market that was in ...

 Yesterday was a lazy day. Which was good. Suzy had her surgery this morning. I dropped her off and just came back to her house and relaxed while that was done. When she was ready I went and picked her up. We came back and she wanted a little nap, but the vet called to say the dog was ready to be picked up. Thankfully they didn't find anything wrong with him. So we went and got the dog. By the time all of this was done it was about 2pm or so. We got back and she did want a nap, so she took one. So I just relaxed again. Which was fine.  It was a hard day though. I was just overwhelmed with missing you. Probably because we had so much downtime.  We had an appointment to go sailing in the evening. This was something you and I talked about doing with her. Remember? You thought it would be fun to take Suzy because she hadn't been on the harbor or sailing before. So I booked it...so we could go in your honor.  The boat was the same size as the one we went on with Greg and ...

Wednesday was a lazy day. And didn't go exactly as planned.  The day started off with getting up at around 10am. Suzy had another interview at 1130 this morning, so I went out and chatted with her. We talked about the social issues in the world - like gun control. I thought of you. You would have been able to have better arguments on that than I did.  At 11:30 she went upstairs for her interview and I went to lay down again. I wrote some on Facebook and posted a photo on Instagram. I then decided to go play with her dog on her back porch. It's actually a great place to also people watch too. I watched the people come and go along the trail. They never look up and see this random girl watching them either. One lady walked by with a fish in her net. She hurried past then I saw her come back. I wasn't sure why she would do that. But to each their own.  About 2 hours later Suzy came down and said she was done being on calls. We decided to take her dog for a walk before we hea...

 Dear Alden,  Yesterday started off a little slow. I got up at about 9:30 and got dressed. Suzy live right next to a park with a trail, and she had appointments this morning so I decided to go for a walk. It wasn't muggy yet so it was a nice walk. I talked to you a bit, as I was the only one on the trail. I miss you. Every part of me misses you. As I walked I wished you were with me. Holding my hand or just next to me. You weren't big on walks, but we did go on a few. I loved just being with you. The park is beautiful. I love all the trees and the different ferns and such. It's not home, but it definitely has its own beauty.  After my walk I got back and so was Suzy. It had started to get muggy and hot, so I was ready to get back in the AC. We chatted for a bit and she had some lunch. I wasn't really hungry. She had an interview at 2pm so I figured I'd take her dog for another walk while she was on her call. I relaxed until about 2 and left again. This time I tried ...

Dear Alden,  Remember how I mentioned that the hotel was a bit rough? Well, at a little after 8 this morning the housekeeping people banged on the door and tried to open it. Seriously. It woke me up and I had to respond so they would leave. Lovely way to wake up... I figured I would write a Facebook post, and go get breakfast- since I was up anyway. So I put on some clothes and went for some food. I really thought of you doing that. It made me imagine you not wanting to wake up, and me asking if you wanted food. You asking me to bring you something...while still really being asleep. A ritual we did several times. Well, I went and had a simple egg breakfast with some sausage. It wasn't bad. After eating I returned to the room and relaxed for a little bit before deciding to get my long drive started. It's a 4 hour drive down to Charlston.  I checked out of the room at a little after 10am and hit the road. I started out in silence. I have found that I prefer to drive in silence n...

 Dear Alden,  I was convinced to go on the trip we had planned, even though it would be without you. My cousin said to still come but spend the whole time with her. So, thats what I'm doing. I canceled most of our reservations and I will be staying with her for 9 days.  It was almost like you knew something was going to happen. I was the one who made all the hotel reservations and plans. I kept prompting you to decide what fishing charters you wanted to go on and reserve them. I wanted you to reserve the car and make other decisions...and you drug your feet. Now those are things I didn't have to cancel.  It's so hard to be traveling without you though. I have felt your absence so so much. For example - I was very overwhelmed when I was dropped off at the airport today. The line for Delta was ridiculously long. I stood in it anyway. I was directed to a priority line...and I looked at the time. I was supposed to be boarding in 20 min. The priority line wasn't moving. A...